literature

My Fallen Mask

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stidgrant's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

My mask is cracked,
I can feel it breaking.
Twisting, tumbling,
Falling to the floor.

Leaving me bare,
Uncovered, alone,
Scared and defiled,
I can't hide anymore

There stands a mirror,
But looking inside,
A reflection stares back,
And it's finally mine.

Then turning away,
My body starts running,
As though any distance
Could make me forget.

But my mind stays behind,
Pondering that reflection.
That shattered miasma of
What once was a man.

Broken and bruised,
I finally stop.
All out of air,
Time almost gone.

And still I can see,
That image of me.
The part that I hide,
That I try to forget.

But it always comes back,
This serpent inside.
Scattering hopes,
Like leaves on the wind.

Destroying my life
again and again.
Killing my friends,
Although they don't die.

And I know the cost,
I've paid it before,
Yet the little voice urges,
Driving me on.

To give in, just once,
Wreak havoc and ruin.
Take the world in my hands,
And break it in two.

And I always swear,
To never go back.
And I always do,
To tear lives asunder.

And to feel the beat
Of war drums again.
Playing, unceasing,
Just noise in my head.

Still I can't help grinning,
As city lights burn.
The fires grow hotter,
They make my head turn.

And before I can think
I've done it again.
Destroying, uprooting,
To heal, in the end.

My friends' lives disrupted,
My life destroyed.
As I spiral down
To the final abyss.

But not just me now.
Now I can't run.
Can't fix this break,
Won't let me move on.

I won't leave this time,
Although it's far worse,
Than anything I've done
Up till now. God it hurts!

These visions I see,
Fire runs rampant
Wanton destruction
Wherever I step.

And I know what I do,
Keep trying to stop.
But life stands behind me,
Pushing me on.

And behind me, quite hidden
In the dust and the toil,
Destruction and blood
Seep into the soil.

A path lies before me,
Hidden, unlit,
And backward, behind me,
Dark and deceitful.

And sometime ago,
I must have been cursed.
Because all good attempts
Just cause more hurts.

And there, just beneath me,
My mask still lies.
Right where I dropped it,
It stares in my eyes.

At my foot raised above it.
Hovering over...
And the mask crumbles.
I'm done hiding.
Never again. I've said it before, and meant it before. This time I will change. I don't know if I can do it myself... I might need help...
© 2011 - 2024 stidgrant
Comments5
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Chibiprincess1569's avatar
This is very wonderfully written... I didn't think anyone could write this so smoothly.

Thanks for writing out my feelings for me. Although, I'm quite aware that your situation is much more different.